I literally do not know how socks go missing so much. Back when I used to do my own laundry, the dirty socks always went into the hamper in pairs. I always checked the washing machine for clothing stuck to the sides. I always generously scooped all the clothes out of the dryer and back into the bag.

And yet, every so often, a sock would just be orphaned. And into the sock drawer it went, in case its partner ever showed up. It never did.

These days, I send my laundry out. It’s easier, and I can afford it now. But what I cannot afford is, beyond all comprehension, the loss of single socks. These are professionals and I never acquire anyone else’s clothing accidentally. What’s happening to my socks?

My sock drawer has, as of this moment, 11 loose, lonely, friendless socks. And I’m afraid to throw any of them out, because I’m holding out hope that in the future their twins will show up.

But they probably won’t. Socks for them.