Ron Swanson happens to be one of the greatest characters ever written for television. Given that his birthday is [redacted] I figured I’d list some of my favorite quotes from him.

It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.

It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.

There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.

There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.

I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.

There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.